


Lift me up

by chocolabs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: How Do I Tag, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Oikawa and Suga are besties, Suga thinks it's one-sided, Sugawara Koushi-centric, University, anxious Oikawa Tooru, oikawa is a dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 16:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12084453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolabs/pseuds/chocolabs
Summary: Suga's trying to get rid of his stupid crush and almost succeeds.





	Lift me up

Suga never ever even dreamed about admitting to anyone that he had the biggest, dumbest crush ever. On Kageyama. Even to himself. Even though he knew perfectly well just how much influence the younger boy had on him. It was out of subject. Crushes on teammates, crushes on younger teammates? Not happening. Nope.

Thankfully almost nobody knew. Suga was pretty good at hiding all of his bubbling feelings under thick coat of teasing grins and praises meant for Kageyama and Hinata as a duo, as players. The only person he opened up to about it was Asahi, and he simply offered him sincere talk and respectful silence. He also, without knowledge, helped Suga ground himself and just not be so jittery about the crush. He somehow managed. And so Suga thought he’d probably be able to push it down, to ignore everything in his mind screaming about him, maybe he’d be free in no time. _Jumping around like a fawn in a fairytale-like forest._ He snickered at the thought, gaining attention of Tsukishima, who was stretching next to him. A grin and a _definitely_ not too strong pat on the back just made him roll his eyes. _Safe_.

He heard Daichi calling him and turned just in time to see Kageyama grabbing Hinata’s shirt and pulling him in the air, shaking him and shouting. _Oh_. Daichi jumped a little and sent them his best Captain Glare (™), before ordering them to start drills. He shook his head at now wordlessly quarrelling pair and strided over to Suga.

“I swear if they don’t tone it down I’ll go bald.” Suga just gave him a wide smile. “Well, that or you’ll either go gray and we both know you wouldn’t be able to pull that off.” he jabbed his finger under Daichi’s ribs, smiling even brighter at his tortured expression. Daichi just sighed, resigned. The joke was never funny, but he knew better than to point that out.

“I think they’ll be good, honestly. Just give them some time, Captain!” he gave him another jab and skipped over to Noya and Asahi to join them. Distracting himself was the best he could do. _It won’t be long and then I’ll be laughing about all of this_.

★

 

His wish wasn’t quick to become true, if it could ever. Sure, Suga’s scattered thoughts became more calm and controlled over the months, but he still couldn’t help the weak flutters in his stomach and soft warmth settling in his chest when he saw Kageyama open up to the team or smile. _Who knew he could smile so brightly?_  

Suga should be over it after thinking about absolutely every aspect why it was hopeless. He was a guy, and even if maybe, by teeny tiny chance Kageyama was into guys, it wouldn’t mean he would be into him. Besides he was still a kid. The age difference bit him the most, guilt gripping at his lungs, reminding that he wasn’t being a good senpai. _Then again, Kageyama might be younger, but he looked so…_ It took extra effort to banish the impure thoughts and maybe not steal glances at his fellow teammate’s muscles. That was all he could do for now.

Being a third year was proving to be good enough reason to keep distance. All the matches he couldn’t be in still had him riled up, every single exam somehow put his mind at ease, adults asking about his plans for future made him slip into busy life of soon-to-be graduate.

There was only one thing that disrupted his… distractions. After meeting up with Seijou for a few times, he was absolutely sure Oikawa Tooru was a demon sent from verges of the universe. The rival setter had apparently taken liking to nagging him, calling him “Mr. Refreshing” and being mildly irritating. Suga stood his ground though, taking part in seemingly innocent banter and quickly discovering how weird actually Oikawa was.

He didn’t really think much about the exchanges. At least, until after that one time when Oikawa strolled over to him with cheerful smile and whispered, “Hey, Suga-chan, I’d have never guessed someone like Tobio-chan was your type.” Suga heard a tiny choked sound that came from his throat and looked at Oikawa, sudden cold sweat making him aware of how warm his neck was.

Thoughts swimming, he tried to rationalize. He was being so careful, so how could he tell? What did he notice? _Fuck…_

There was a flash of surprise in Oikawa’s eyes before Suga started retreating, noticing the alarmed glance from Daichi… and then there was also Kageyama, whose brows were furrowed at them, eyes darting between them. None of them managed even a step in their direction, as Oikawa caught Suga’s hand and pulled him out of the gym, quiet “Come with me for a second” lost somewhere on the way, eyes now serious and lips pulled into a thin line. He let himself be dragged for a bit before pulling away from the other.

They stood in silence for a moment, Suga leaning on the wall in bright corridor, anxiously scratching on his forearm and Oikawa biting his lip and staring at the floor. He watched him squirm a bit, then take a deep breath and straighten up, just as he started;

“Oikawa-” there were fingers on his lips, but not in aggressive hold, just stopping him. His voice is quiet, sincere “I’m sorry, Sugawara. I didn’t…” Oikawa threaded fingers through his hair and looked to the side. “I was making a joke. I didn’t know… I assume I was right? I’m sorry.” He takes away his hand and taps the ground nervously. Suga counts to ten and tries out a smile. “You couldn’t have known. It’s fine. You just surprised me.”

The brunette cautiously returned the smile. “So… we’re good and fresh?” His smile brightens as Suga punches him lightly on the shoulder. “Come on Mr. Refreshing, I’m so surprised~! I could say the same thing about Daichi-chan and I’d probably be a bloody pile on the floor right now, right? But now now, don’t fret! you have my back now and you can spill your golden heart to me.”

Suga pushed himself off the wall, feeling some new energy in his veins. He slung his arm over Oikawa’s back and pushed him back towards the gym. “Well, Oikawa- _chan_ , I suppose I could indulge you a bit, but are you sure you have what it takes to be a confidante?” There was this amused gleam in his eyes, _maybe this won’t be so bad_ , he mused.

They made it back to the gym, relaxed and bickering half heartedly once again. Daichi looked over to them and caught Suga’s eyes, visibly relaxing after the ashen blonde gave him a small thumbs up. Others seemed distracted as the two walked over to their bags and exchanged phone numbers, grinning and joking around. They didn’t notice Kageyama, who stilled on the other side of the court, ball in his hands, slight frown scrunching his face as he watched Oikawa hug Sugawara and then turned around when Suga laughed at his antics.

★

 

Oikawa turned out to be a pretty good companion, and after quite short time when they only trashed each other with deadly sweetness Suga discovered that the talks with fellow setter were getting more and more interesting with every exchange. He got to know about Oikawa’s own “dumb crush” and a lot of space things. As much grounding as Asahi gave him in the team, the new friend was great to talk to, especially after they discovered they were aiming for the same university. The distance and school didn’t really allow them to meet up a lot, but they could always call. So it wasn’t anything unusual when Suga found himself on the bed with phone pressed to his ear, chuckling at Oikawa’s whining.

“But seriously, Kou-chan, this is so unfair! I mean, I’m the most charming person I know and I fell so low! I’m a disgrace.”

“Tooru, oh my god. What’s so bad about having a crush?” Suga could almost feel the disbelief that hung in the air.

“Says the guy who’s too scared of actually realizing how gorgeous he is! Fucking hell, Kou-chan, I know there’s a lot of _issues_ you have with this but I’m pretty sure there no gay dude who wouldn’t fall in love with you just a _little_ bit. Even I did! So you can throw that argument out the window.”

Suga let out a small groan.

“Okay Tooru, but back to you. I don’t think you really told me what you like about Kuroo?”

There was a moment of silence, spoiled with Oikawa’s quiet voice.

“There’s nothing… forced about him. You know I don’t honestly think I’m some god in human form. I’m not that full of myself. I just… can’t stop acting this way. And Kuroo’s amazing. He’s blunt and just… real. I don’t think he could fall for such a faker like me.”

“Tooru?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not a faker. You _are_ real. The way you are now might be super annoying, I mean, look at Iwaizumi. But it’s also so fun. People can see that and that’s why they like you. And he’d have to be blind not to see it.” Suga could hear a smile now tinting Oikawa’s voice.

“And those tights are to die for. He could try to kill me with them and I’d thank him.” There was a soft thud and a few curses before Oikawa came back. “Speaking of, do you have something like that?”

“Hmmm, I don’t know...”

“Kou-chan! No fair!”

“Pff! Fine, Fine.” Suga sat up and pulled his knees up to his chest. “You know how sometimes he gets so focused that he’s scary? It’s so hot I could get sunburn.”

“I thought Hinata was the team’s sun? But whatever, so you’re basically saying he’s nice when he’s all scary? Now you’re gonna tell me you wish he threw you around like the chibi-chan.”

“...”

“Oh god, Kou-chan.”

“It’s not my fault! Have you seen his arms! And he’s only a first year!” He heard a grunt on the other side but he was already there. “Tooru, what the heck am I doing. He’s only a kid and here I am fantasizing about him sweeping me off my feet like some princess.”

“But Kou, you are a princess!” there’s another groan before he continues. “Just… I know it’s hard for you, but have you ever thought about telling him?” Oikawa was calm but firm, “Excluding the obvious _I can’t tell him._ ”

Suga sighed.

“I really wish I could. I wish I was brave enough to just go over to him and tell him, despite everything that… you know. But right now I don’t think I could. We don’t even have two full months left and I just think… I don’t want to confuse him. I don’t want to mess with him. It’s… it’s not worth… making sure he knows or whatever. And even if he’d agree, I know in long run it’d hurt him. I don’t want that.”

“Kou-chan, you’re an idiot! If he likes you, it’s like saying his feelings aren’t worth it!” Oikawa scolds him, then laughs hollowly. “But I’m no better, so I can’t say anything.”

“We’re both dumb then?”

“Yeah. Hey, Kou-chan?”

“Hm?”

“On a different note. If we get into the uni together, would you wanna be my roommate? I need someone tolerable who can appreciate the greatness of Star Trek.”

It wasn’t unusual for Suga to smile long after ending the phone call, but he didn’t care. Maybe if he was away, he could finally forget.

 

★

 

First year of university shook his life and threw it on its head, but Suga didn’t complain. Living with Oikawa was nice, hanging out with Daichi was nice, visiting Karasuno to see the team was nice. Probably. He never went back, at first excusing himself with work, then he just didn’t say anything. He did feel bad about avoiding the team, it was like a second family, but he couldn’t bring himself to go back.

It really seemed that his crush could disappear. Kageyama found his way back into his thoughts every now and then, but being as busy as he was, he just sunk back into his books or let Oikawa drag him out to parties. 

He was doing just fine.

★

 

“KOUSHI.”

Suga looked up from his notebook and gave Oikawa a puzzled look. It was a late Wednesday evening and he was just wrapping up the material for the next day. Oikawa looked like he was going mad, hands shaking and hair a complete mess. He stood in the doorway for a moment, wheezing, before making his way to plop on the couch next to Suga. He pushed him palms in his eyes and stilled. Suga just waited for him to pop.

It took a while before Oikawa lowered his hands, now covering his mouth as he looked at his roommate, eyes wide and ever so slightly red.

“I made out with Kuroo.”

Suga thought back to the document about out-of-body experiences they watched together the previous week, wondering if the fact that he could perfectly picture himself and Oikawa on the couch meant something. Probably that they watched too many of these. He was pulled out of the thought by a broken sob. He didn’t need to look to _know_. He leaned over and pulled the brunette into a tight hug, rubbing calming circles on his spine. There were more sobs as he waited for his friend to open up.

“I… we were hanging out. And we started arguing about something and then he said something super stupid, and I said that he was just wasting his time. And he said that spending time with me isn’t a waste. And there was something in his eyes and I… and then he was on me, it was amazing but I freaked out and cried and ran away-“

There’s a sudden noise, Suga stunned by how desperate Oikawa’s laugh sounds. “I just ran away. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m an idiot now. Or that I’m not interested. Is this all real?” Oikawa looked up at him, teary and unsure. “Do you think he could be pranking me?” Suga squeezed him tighter. He was just about to answer when an obnoxiously loud ringtone tore through the air of the room. Oikawa  grabbed the device and let out a hiccup. “Oh god it’s him, I can’t! Kou-chan, what do I do, what do I do!?

He didn’t know what exactly made him take the phone from him and answer it. That might be the stupidest thing he could do. But he did it and wasn’t about to back away.

“Good evening, Kuroo, Suga here.” he started, trying to sound calm. Oikawa was watching him, curled up on his chest. He patted his head lightly.

“Oh, uh- Suga. Hey. Is-” Kuroo sounded super nervous, but also weak. “I assume you know what happened if you’re answering.” Kuroo sighed, resigned. “I screwed up, right?”

“That depends.”

“On what? Suga I swear, don’t play games with me now, I can’t right now.” There was a longer pause before he continued. “He’s mad, isn’t he? I shouldn’t have done that.”

Suga looked down at Oikawa, his eyes searching and on verge of heartbreak, but it was also in Kuroo’s voice. Suga took a deep breath and handed the phone to Oikawa. “I think you should talk to him.”

Oikawa nodded and let out a soft sniffle, before he stood up. Suga leaned back on the couch, the last thing he could hear a quiet “Tettsun?” and he closed his eyes. They should be fine.

★

 

Summer break caught him off guard, tired but satisfied with his work. In the storm of exams he kinda forgot about it. _It happens to the best_ , he argued with himself. Already twenty years old and he still fell into the school’s tunnel vision. Oikawa made him hang out with Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi, Daichi sometimes dropped by and they spent nice afternoons together. Suga made a few friends in class but the karaoke meet-ups with them were rather rare. He enjoyed the quiet days most.

So when suddenly all days became quiet, the school routine gone, he felt a bit lost. And there came Oikawa and his parties. Finally Suga started feeling more alive, more free. His dancing wasn’t bad and he had fun flirting and riling up other guys.

He could finally smile and honestly say that he didn’t have a crush on Kageyama.

 

★

 

And then _that_ party happened, Oikawa’s birthday. Suga wondered if everything in his life had been leading to this moment. 

Tooru seemed too dizzy for his own good, but after being friends with him for almost two years Suga knew he could actually hold his liquid pretty well. _He’s probably intoxicated with his dearest Tettsun_ , Suga thought and almost giggled, but his eyes darted back to the corner of the room and he could only swallow dryly.

Tooru hadn’t mentioned anything about Kageyama being there. He said “only closest friends”, since Kuroo’s apartment wasn’t that big _. Bullshit._ There was so many people he didn’t know AND him. Oikawa never tried to interfere before and Suga absolutely didn’t appreciate it. He let his gaze linger on Kageyama who was talking with Iwaizumi. _Damn, I thought I was over this._ He glanced at him once again. _He got even taller…_ His arms were buff enough to compete with Iwa’s, he could see his back’s muscle move under his shirt and-

He quickly looked away, cheeks hot and mind buzzing. He was not going to stare at his butt. That would so wrong. He had too much to drink already. No, he didn’t have enough. He’d probably have his regrets the next day, if he wasn’t stopped by two arms sneaking around his waist. “Kooou-chan, how do you like my surprise?” Tooru leaned in to murmur in his ear. “He’s grown up so nicely, hmmm?”

Suga tried to break free but to no avail. “What the fuck, Tooru.”, he hissed and tried to poke him in the ribs. _Maybe he really was drunk._ Oikawa could only laugh, used to his antics. He hugged him tighter and swayed a little. “Kou, you’re so cute. He’d have to be blind not to see that. And~” Oikawa’s hands slid slowly to his hips, gripping on them lightly and making them move with him. “He’s been giving you looks for quite some time. Like, _the_ looks, Kou-chan. Maybe you should just go talk to him. Or maybe...” Suga was already being turned around, so he didn’t notice Kageyama making his way towards them. “Maybe I should take you away for the night?” Tooru grinned as he cupped Suga’s ass. He felt his legs shake and then a few things happened at the same time. Someone behind him growled a low “Oikawa-san”, Oikawa spun them around and the light went out, followed by surprised shouts.

All he could register after that was that Kageyama was pulling him up by his jacket and the only thoughts filling his mind were _oh god his arms, he fucking lifted me up_ and, embarrassingly, _yes please_. Somewhere to his left he heard Oikawa sing-song “Glowsticks time! Tettsun where are you?”, but he couldn’t focus on anything else.

Soon enough the light was switched back on, Oikawa’s whines distant and followed by Iwa’s curses. Suga looked up to see Kageyama frozen in horror, with blank eyes. He desperately wanted to just push himself closer, but he managed a quiet, definitely not trembling “Um, Kageyama?”. It seemed to snap him back to reality, quickly pulling his hands away ( _Don’t look disappointed, don’t look disappointed_ ), before looking back at Suga. He scrunched his eyebrows for a moment, before sighing and hesitantly pulling on his hand. “Maybe we should get out of here, Suga-san.” He didn’t answer, but let himself be dragged through the room, slightly dazed. He saw Tooru give him a thumbs up before doors closed behind them.

 

★★★

 

Kageyama felt his head spin despite not drinking anything. Walking fast now, in the middle of the silent street, his thoughts dashed feverishly as he tried to comprehend just what the hell happened. 

He came to the stupid party, after all Oikawa nagged him about that enough. Reasons unknown, maybe he just wanted to make fun of him again. He wasn’t going to stay long anyway. He actually managed to talk with Iwaizumi about volleyball. And then, after a _year_ of not seeing him, of not hearing anything from him, he saw Suga. Oikawa was sticking to him and it didn’t look like he appreciated it. Something clicked in him and all it took was the smug grin directed at him and he couldn’t, fuck his feelings, he wasn’t about to let Oikawa do that to someone he cared about.

Because, yes, he cared. Even though he hadn’t heard from him at all, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of uneasiness, tugging on his thoughts. What even was that, he’s never been like that. He tried to figure it out for so long...

And then he manhandled Suga. Sure, he heard his gasp, but nothing could prepare him for the sight after the light went back on. He looked at him with wide, wide eyes, his breathing slightly quickened and face flushed. If only he could just push him onto nearest wall and…

 _Oh_. So that was why.

He shook his head, sudden dread of realization slipping down his back, and looked down on his feet. He should say something. He really should. But what? He was slowly falling, but a gentle tug on his hand made him stop in his tracks, Suga bumping into him. “Ah, sorry-” they both fell silent after speaking at the same time. Kageyama could feel his heartbeat quicken, he really should explain himself or really, something. He sighed.

“Suga-san, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I can take you back if you…” he stopped mid-sentence when Suga shook his head. He noticed his cheeks were flushed again, and he mumbled something. Kageyama leaned down to him, furrowing his brows. “What was that, Suga-san?”

“I said,” Suga’s head snapped up and both startled at how close they were. Suga grew even redder and repeated quietly, “I didn’t mind that.”

Kageyama stared at him dumbly. Suga was probably slightly drunk, but not enough to talk nonsense. So what was that, saying he didn’t mind that? Why? Apparently he said his last question aloud, because Suga sighed, swaying a little before pulling on his shoulders and lightly kissing him on the corner of his mouth. The warmth was as quickly gone as it came, leaving him speechless. Suga turned away from him, taking a step back and fiddling with his sleeve. “I, uh… sorry. I’ll go home now, so if you’d just forget-” _No no no, no! What!_ The small piece of skin where Suga’s lips pressed burnt and tingled, and hell if Kageyama wasn’t drunk before, he was now.

Suga yelped when his back hit the wall, didn’t have time when Kageyama pressed against him, kissing him with impatience and need that terrified himself. It took seconds for Suga to respond, hands travelling up to his arms, squeezing them, then to his neck, pushing them closer together, finally to his hair, pulling on the black strands. Kageyama groaned, _god it feels so good_ , his own hands roaming on Suga’s chest, stomach, hips. Oikawa’s smile flashed through his thoughts and he grabbed his firm ass, smiling into the kiss at the moan he earned.

Pulling away, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Suga’s face. He was a breathless mess, lips reddened and wet with _his_ saliva, eyes dark and teary, trapping him and making him shiver. Suga blinked in haze, then realization bloomed on his face. With a silent groan, he pushed his head onto Kageyama’s chest and embraced him. Kageyama rested his chin on top of his head and he hummed quietly when Suga whispered his name.

“Kageyama… what would you say if I said that… I liked it when you pulled me up?” His breath hitched, thoughts scattered again, because this, this! Was something he could never ever imagine happening, because then, that would mean that Suga also…

He gently pulled Suga from himself and took his face in his hands. He swiped his thumbs over his cheeks, looking straight into his unsure eyes, suddenly calm. It should have been so obvious.

He took a deep breath and looked at him again, determined. “Suga-san,” he started firmly, “I like you.”

Suga stared at him for a moment before starting to laugh. Perplexed, he was about ask but once again, Suga’s lips pressed against his and then he caught his hands to spin around with him, his face bright and warm. “Kageyama, you dork! I like you too! I like you! And you like me! I can’t believe this!” he stopped and smiled, looking down. “I can’t believe it…” They stood like that for a bit, just smiling at each other, exploring each other's faces, all giddy, when a soft chime of Suga’s phone distracted them.

A quick glance at his phone had Suga laughing again and he showed Kageyama the screen.

 

**[23:11] From: Tooru no**

**Looks like my plan worked, Kou-chan! You owe me a week worth of milk bread. Have a nice night and remember about condoms!** **( ͡°  ͜ʖ ͡° )** **━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ**

 

**[23:12] From: Tooru no**

**I’m staying w/ Tettsun ❤**

 

Turning beetroot red, Kageyama stammered “So that was-! He was-!” before hiding his face behind hands and groaning. Looking between his fingers, he could see Suga trying to give him a smug smile, but it quickly melted away in favor of honestly happy one, _like an angel’s_ , and Kageyama could only smile himself. And then there was a tug on his shirt and when he opened his eyes again, he was met with half lidded eyes and the tiniest grin, overpowered by flushed cheeks.

“Kageyama… you know, we’re pretty close to my apartment. Would you maybe…” he stepped back closer, lifting his hands to slip them once again into his hair, and Kageyama couldn’t help but shudder at the vivid memory of him pulling on it, “like to come over?” He leaned in for a kiss, this one tender and sweet. Suga pulled away slowly, his eyes fond. “I think we should talk about-” he linked their hands, slotting his fingers between Kageyama’s. “-this.”

Kageyama just stood there, stunned. It all felt surreal, but so, so right. He nodded and Suga tugged him lightly, probably wanting to guide him. He stopped, contemplating something, turning back to Kageyama with devilish grin. “Hey, Tobio.”

He was gone. Done. His heart turned into a rocket and left the planet, left him dumb and flustered and quickly catching up to the cloud nine.

“Ye-yes!”

“Think you can give me a piggyback ride?”

 

★★★

 

Back at Kuroo’s apartment the party was already wrapping up, when Kuroo fished Oikawa’s phone out from under the couch. He quickly checked his album; of course someone snatched it earlier and took a bunch of random, blurry photos. _Oh sweet, someone got us making out_. He decided to leave them for tomorrow, more interested in a single text message from Suga.

He quickly opened it and froze, before starting to cackle like a madman. It wasn’t a text, just a single image. It was quite dark, but lantern light still was enough to make it clear; there was Kageyama, all cute and flushed, looking somewhere in front of him, with Suga on his back, taking the photo, smiling like a little shit he was. And of course throwing in a peace sign.

Kuroo quickly stood up from the floor, phone in hand.

“Tooru? You gotta see this!”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this!


End file.
